September 15th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com
SACRAMENTO, CA—U-Haul has named Governor Gavin Newsom its Salesperson of the Year for the third year in a row after a record-setting sales quarter.
"We are astounded by the growth we've seen in California," said U-Haul's Western Regional Director Fennick Buggstein. "Thanks to Gavin Newsom, literally every middle-class family has moved out of the state! It's been impossible to keep up with demand! Also, most of our workers left the state too, which kind of stinks."
In their second-quarter earnings statement, U-Haul revealed their sales on the West Coast have increased over 37,000% as every human with a pulse and marginal desire for a better life has packed up all their worldly belongings and chosen to leave for greener pastures in a giant U-Haul truck.
"We are deeply grateful to Gavin for our success in 2021," said Buggstein. "The only problem now is that we're all out of trucks. And no one is willing to drive a U-Haul back to California. And I'm leaving with my family as well. So I guess this is it! Bye everyone!" Buggstein then jumped in the last U-Haul with his family and took off for Texas.
Congrats to Gavin Newsom!
Time to go back inside
I was going to come back and update this shit to what got posted but NAAAA!
Add to this Assholes!
FREE MOVIE OF THE DAYWE EVEN BITCHES**OVER
It is pronounced, The Hun'ch Fowar' Red Oktobahh ' TraBek!
"I'll chake, Based on Tom Clancy's bestseller, fourwa 1,000,000"
Directed by John McTiernan (Die Hard) and starring Sean Connery (That's right Tra Bek) and Alec "I Just FUCKED My Life Baldwin" ;
"The Hunt For Red October" seethes with high-tech excitement and sweats with the tension of men who hold Doomsday in their hands! Fuck Me!
It's a new technologically-superior Soviet nuclear sub, "The Red October"!! US Coast guard be like "He you guys got maintained records on this thing right?" I can't seem to find it on CarFax : / "Trust me Comrade!" ! WHAT! "Are you calling me on a cellular phone??? Prank Caller Prank Caller! is heading for the U.S. coast under the command of Captain Marko Ramius (Connery and for afternoon delight, TraBeck's MoM! it seems your Mum want to Ramius...
I filled up my car the day before the whole shortage thing happened @ $3.50/Ga. I had this nagging voice in my head for two days prior saying "Go get gas right now" .
I feel like Magnum P.I. with my little voice : )
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For months, schools closed nationwide over COVID-19 concerns. How did shutdowns affect a generation of kids? Caitlin Meister – a founder of education consultancy The Greer Meister Group – discusses pros & cons of at-home learning on @AskDrDrew at 3pm PT. https://drdrew.tv
Caitlin Meister is the Founding Director of The Greer Meister Group, a New York City-based private tutoring and educational consulting practice that specializes in content mastery, cognitive flexibility, resilience, and academic independence. Her company offers the most highly-qualified and engaging tutors in the nation and was recently recognized by New York Magazine as providing “The Best Online Classes for Kids.”
Education Consultant at The Greer Meister Group • GreerMeisterGroup.com
https://greermeistergroup.com (Greer Meister Group .com)
The most realistic Navy Seal movie ever made!