Per The Babylon Bee @thebabylonbee
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Gavin Newsom is smelling victory after his blowout win in the California recall election.
In celebration of Gavin Newsom’s win, homeless people in San Francisco scrawled “Congratulations, Gavin!” in their own poop on the street. Some of the excrement was produced fresh for the message while most had been lying on the sidewalk unused for months.
Local sources say many people so far seem to be avoiding the area where the words were written. A few onlookers were critical of the message, calling it “disgusting,” “crappy,” and “corny.” But they were probably racist Larry Elder supporters.
The homeless population, however, was unequivocal in their support for the Governor. When asked what they love most about Newsom, every homeless person had the same answer. “Change,” they replied. Then they kept repeating it. “Change, please. Change?” It seems the homeless are big fans of all the change that has taken place under Newsom’s leadership.
Businesses fleeing the state, a rise in violent crime, and thousands of prisoners granted early release have all provided the homeless with a growing community of friends joining them under the bridges where they live. With a track record like that, who wouldn’t be begging for more change?
Scattered around the smeared poop, the streets of San Francisco were also littered with used hypodermic needles, presumably a result of California’s high vaccination rate thanks to Gavin Newsom.
I was going to come back and update this shit to what got posted but NAAAA!
Add to this Assholes!
FREE MOVIE OF THE DAYWE EVEN BITCHES**OVER
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"I'll chake, Based on Tom Clancy's bestseller, fourwa 1,000,000"
Directed by John McTiernan (Die Hard) and starring Sean Connery (That's right Tra Bek) and Alec "I Just FUCKED My Life Baldwin" ;
"The Hunt For Red October" seethes with high-tech excitement and sweats with the tension of men who hold Doomsday in their hands! Fuck Me!
It's a new technologically-superior Soviet nuclear sub, "The Red October"!! US Coast guard be like "He you guys got maintained records on this thing right?" I can't seem to find it on CarFax : / "Trust me Comrade!" ! WHAT! "Are you calling me on a cellular phone??? Prank Caller Prank Caller! is heading for the U.S. coast under the command of Captain Marko Ramius (Connery and for afternoon delight, TraBeck's MoM! it seems your Mum want to Ramius...
I filled up my car the day before the whole shortage thing happened @ $3.50/Ga. I had this nagging voice in my head for two days prior saying "Go get gas right now" .
I feel like Magnum P.I. with my little voice : )
I was let down to learn MLK the 3rd missed the entire point. Apparently he, too, thinks anyone in the US should be able to vote. Legal, illegal, citizen or not. He also agrees with the narrative that black people can't get government ID's and/or drivers licenses. You know, the thing everyone has that allows you to vote (if you're not a criminal).
EVERYONE VOTES OR THE US IS RACIST is the theme. Suddenly. Martin Luther King would be highly disappointed.
This is fucking pathetic.
WHERE MY MOMS AT!? It's the show by the Moms for the Moms. Hosted by everybody's favorite "cool mom" Christina P! Not only the most REAL show for moms, but the most interactive. An open place to admit no one really knows what they're doing.
Christina comes in today all fired up about her Starbucks barista wearing a Star Trek pin on their apron. Are Star Trek nerds different from punk nerds? We get into follow ups about ho bags, boyfriends liking stuff on Instagram, and an update from Jack the Texan! Christina gives some insight on how she teaches her kids what's bad to do and we talk about tiers of groups in high school. We also do our best to answer some WWCPD's about bringing ladies back to your parents house, dealing with a cheating partner, and a cool pie kink.
Christina P. wants to hear from you since she is seriously lacking in cool mom friends. If you want to share a "Pazsitzky Effect" or "Mom Hack" please call into our voicemail (213)375-5184 and let Christina know! We want to talk ...